They run like wild, then biting, maul,
give new meaning to kill the ball,
rampaging, running, tearing shreds
from any part of opponents’ heads;
they only play part time.
They’re fast; they’re big, throw out much fear
to opponents from any hemisphere.
Pacific, Australasia, too,
no manager will know what to do.
Perhaps refuse to play them.
When they’ve finished, most players lie low,
waiting for the afternoon sun to go,
licking wounds, stretching, mouths open wide,
having made mincemeat of the opposing side.
Their attacking moves really crunch.
It started when Miss Sian Panzee
hitched a ride to Heathrow, free,
then National Express, to Newport, Wales,
with snow, ice, and Atlantic gales
blowing up the Bristol Channel.
It was from these parts that she had heard
rumours of something so absurd,
with running, kicking, throwing, jumping,
falling, shouting, cheering, bumping,
and, even better, with a whistle.
Fighting, thumping. sliding. flying,
passing, racing, hugging, crying,
raking, scraping, so much more,
and something humans called the score,
and all this in the mud and rain.
To watch the match, she climbed on the roof
and hanging there, she found the truth.
It was most fortunate, that afternoon
Llanelli were without Mr Moon (injured)
so Newport won by 30 points.
make that 10, can’t, doesn’t have enough
rampaging, running, tearing shreds
from any part of opponents’ heads;
they only play part time.
They’re fast; they’re big, throw out much fear
to opponents from any hemisphere.
Pacific, Australasia, too,
no manager will know what to do.
Perhaps refuse to play them.
When they’ve finished, most players lie low,
waiting for the afternoon sun to go,
licking wounds, stretching, mouths open wide,
having made mincemeat of the opposing side.
Their attacking moves really crunch.
It started when Miss Sian Panzee
hitched a ride to Heathrow, free,
then National Express, to Newport, Wales,
with snow, ice, and Atlantic gales
blowing up the Bristol Channel.
It was from these parts that she had heard
rumours of something so absurd,
with running, kicking, throwing, jumping,
falling, shouting, cheering, bumping,
and, even better, with a whistle.
Fighting, thumping. sliding. flying,
passing, racing, hugging, crying,
raking, scraping, so much more,
and something humans called the score,
and all this in the mud and rain.
To watch the match, she climbed on the roof
and hanging there, she found the truth.
It was most fortunate, that afternoon
Llanelli were without Mr Moon (injured)
so Newport won by 30 points.
make that 10, can’t, doesn’t have enough
syllables
Unfortunately, at four fifteen,
waving, hooting, she was seen
by an ornithologist filming geese,
who promptly phoned South Wales Police,
who referred him to a doctor.
But just in case that it was true,
duty Sergeant Grabbem Huw
set a dog van to the scene
to check out on the Rodney queen
hanging, to cheers, from the grandstand.
Why South Wales Police in Gwent? Syllables, and most people won’t notice.
Caught by Police, she was escorted
back to London, to be deported
home to Africa, where she told the boys
the thrills and skills and even joys of rugby.
They soon had an appetite… for the game.
Players rushed to join, with notable gains
from Marsabit, Tsavo, Serengeti Plains,
the strongholds of the savage pack,
roaming wild for teatime snack.
They love to chase the prey.
It wasn’t long till many Parks
resounded to snorts, growls, snaps, and barks.
The different style made many gape
at the ball of different shape
that often had four legs.
Right, so let me introduce my fifteen.
The rugby world has never seen
anything to compare remotely with the manner
of rugby, East African savannah;
not even the Barbarians eat their opponents.
1
Elli Phant, turns out for Samburu Park,
he’s very quiet after dark.
The coach says he’s a big strong boy
who makes the ball look like a toy.
His stamp is much worse than his bark.
Sales rep for Tusker Beer Co.
2
Ceri Ocodile (River Nile)
has been known to break the laws
by sometimes using massive jaws
which, of course, is strictly illegal.
Moving low across the ground is where this amphibian is often found
frequently seen laying around yawning,
but can snap out of lethargy without warning.
As tough a character as you can get,
he prefers the game when ground is wet.
Bank manager
3
Rhys Noceros (Masai Mara Game Reserve)
not the fastest on the ground, but there again, who stands around
really likes to crash into the opposition, regardless, often, of their position,
can leave a nasty scar.
Ballet teacher
4
Bleddyn Buffalo from Serengeti Plains
gets the birds even when he trains,
the real charger in the side,
he tears the opposite wide
once he runs, with shoulders low.
Criticized, discreetly, from way away, for being slow
but a customer as tough as leather.
Poet in residence, Nairobi prison.
5
Powys Lyonnais (Club Racing Tsavo Bravo)
Not arrogant, perhaps just full of pride,
runs around, mouth open wide.
Gold hairs bristle on his back,
a real leader of the pack.
Good enough to be a British Lion.
Hairstylist.
6 and 7
Huw Iena and Vernon Vulture, from Serengeti Plains,
they’re at their peak before the rains.
what a pair of ravagers,
and more important, natural scavengers.
They love to pick up the loose pieces.
Comedian act ‘Flap and Laugh”, Friday nights, BBC Wales.
8
Garth Iraffe of Meru Game Reserve,
long legs mean he can both run and swerve,
this lanky one is skyline tall,
without a doubt, wins any throw in ball,
assuming Elli Phant throws it in straight.
15
Bryn Bok
springing here and fliting there, and occasionally jumping over the ball.
players, spectators, both are wowed
so he really can pull in a crowd, especially in Johannesburg.
Boxer
11 and 14
Ceri Crane and Phil Amingo of Lake Nakuru Park
play the game just for a lark,
but as they’re birds, that might not be surprising.
Flying touch-line heroes these,
of course, wind assisted in a breeze,
but it’s not the Olympics, so who cares.
Fishermen
12 and 13
Ieuan Pala and Gareth Zelle (Marsabit RFC)
up by the Northern Frontier, home of a variety of deer,
a partnership that works so well,.
jumping, sidesteps, when in flight, crowd endeered (sic) by such a sight,
especially when playing against the Cheetahs.
9 and 10
Mostyn Quito and Tegwyn Tetse of Tana River Rugby Club
a place that really is the hub
of news that flies around, but rumoured to be on the move to Wasps
There’s a real buzz that comes around when this airborne menace gets to the ground
can work the crowd into a frenzy.
with a fast and dangerous probing thrust, can make their opponents bite the dust..
They’re in the action, thick and thin,.
an irritant to the opposition, they really do get under their skin, with their stinging comments.
.
Ed
Tegwyn Tetse, unusually, is qualified for Wales too, through a Chinese grandmother,
Madam Shang Hai Tet See, who unwittingly was on a plane to Nairobi that stopped for an hour at Cardiff airport some years ago,according to Eng Dr Igor Irianiski
Rimsky-Korsokov Professor of Temperate Zone Entomological Genealogy
Technical University of Petropavlosk-Khamchatska
1-345 Avenue of the Fallen Heroes of the 1922
Immortal Battle of Krasnakov-Petropavlosk-Khamchatska
Okhotsk Semi Autonomous Soviet People’s Republic, Russian Far East
But don’t forget this big game is rare,
they’re endangered species, please take care.
When the match is over, and the party through,
the hotel’s a million-star open zoo.
Breakfast’s easy, no cup, bowl or plate,
but just make sure the food’s not late,
or you
might
be
the
porridge.
Unfortunately, at four fifteen,
waving, hooting, she was seen
by an ornithologist filming geese,
who promptly phoned South Wales Police,
who referred him to a doctor.
But just in case that it was true,
duty Sergeant Grabbem Huw
set a dog van to the scene
to check out on the Rodney queen
hanging, to cheers, from the grandstand.
Why South Wales Police in Gwent? Syllables, and most people won’t notice.
Caught by Police, she was escorted
back to London, to be deported
home to Africa, where she told the boys
the thrills and skills and even joys of rugby.
They soon had an appetite… for the game.
Players rushed to join, with notable gains
from Marsabit, Tsavo, Serengeti Plains,
the strongholds of the savage pack,
roaming wild for teatime snack.
They love to chase the prey.
It wasn’t long till many Parks
resounded to snorts, growls, snaps, and barks.
The different style made many gape
at the ball of different shape
that often had four legs.
Right, so let me introduce my fifteen.
The rugby world has never seen
anything to compare remotely with the manner
of rugby, East African savannah;
not even the Barbarians eat their opponents.
1
Elli Phant, turns out for Samburu Park,
he’s very quiet after dark.
The coach says he’s a big strong boy
who makes the ball look like a toy.
His stamp is much worse than his bark.
Sales rep for Tusker Beer Co.
2
Ceri Ocodile (River Nile)
has been known to break the laws
by sometimes using massive jaws
which, of course, is strictly illegal.
Moving low across the ground is where this amphibian is often found
frequently seen laying around yawning,
but can snap out of lethargy without warning.
As tough a character as you can get,
he prefers the game when ground is wet.
Bank manager
3
Rhys Noceros (Masai Mara Game Reserve)
not the fastest on the ground, but there again, who stands around
really likes to crash into the opposition, regardless, often, of their position,
can leave a nasty scar.
Ballet teacher
4
Bleddyn Buffalo from Serengeti Plains
gets the birds even when he trains,
the real charger in the side,
he tears the opposite wide
once he runs, with shoulders low.
Criticized, discreetly, from way away, for being slow
but a customer as tough as leather.
Poet in residence, Nairobi prison.
5
Powys Lyonnais (Club Racing Tsavo Bravo)
Not arrogant, perhaps just full of pride,
runs around, mouth open wide.
Gold hairs bristle on his back,
a real leader of the pack.
Good enough to be a British Lion.
Hairstylist.
6 and 7
Huw Iena and Vernon Vulture, from Serengeti Plains,
they’re at their peak before the rains.
what a pair of ravagers,
and more important, natural scavengers.
They love to pick up the loose pieces.
Comedian act ‘Flap and Laugh”, Friday nights, BBC Wales.
8
Garth Iraffe of Meru Game Reserve,
long legs mean he can both run and swerve,
this lanky one is skyline tall,
without a doubt, wins any throw in ball,
assuming Elli Phant throws it in straight.
15
Bryn Bok
springing here and fliting there, and occasionally jumping over the ball.
players, spectators, both are wowed
so he really can pull in a crowd, especially in Johannesburg.
Boxer
11 and 14
Ceri Crane and Phil Amingo of Lake Nakuru Park
play the game just for a lark,
but as they’re birds, that might not be surprising.
Flying touch-line heroes these,
of course, wind assisted in a breeze,
but it’s not the Olympics, so who cares.
Fishermen
12 and 13
Ieuan Pala and Gareth Zelle (Marsabit RFC)
up by the Northern Frontier, home of a variety of deer,
a partnership that works so well,.
jumping, sidesteps, when in flight, crowd endeered (sic) by such a sight,
especially when playing against the Cheetahs.
9 and 10
Mostyn Quito and Tegwyn Tetse of Tana River Rugby Club
a place that really is the hub
of news that flies around, but rumoured to be on the move to Wasps
There’s a real buzz that comes around when this airborne menace gets to the ground
can work the crowd into a frenzy.
with a fast and dangerous probing thrust, can make their opponents bite the dust..
They’re in the action, thick and thin,.
an irritant to the opposition, they really do get under their skin, with their stinging comments.
.
Ed
Tegwyn Tetse, unusually, is qualified for Wales too, through a Chinese grandmother,
Madam Shang Hai Tet See, who unwittingly was on a plane to Nairobi that stopped for an hour at Cardiff airport some years ago,according to Eng Dr Igor Irianiski
Rimsky-Korsokov Professor of Temperate Zone Entomological Genealogy
Technical University of Petropavlosk-Khamchatska
1-345 Avenue of the Fallen Heroes of the 1922
Immortal Battle of Krasnakov-Petropavlosk-Khamchatska
Okhotsk Semi Autonomous Soviet People’s Republic, Russian Far East
But don’t forget this big game is rare,
they’re endangered species, please take care.
When the match is over, and the party through,
the hotel’s a million-star open zoo.
Breakfast’s easy, no cup, bowl or plate,
but just make sure the food’s not late,
or you
might
be
the
porridge.
