Professor Potty and Dr Dotty

 PG Tips Impure Science Faculty

Earl Grey School of Linguistics Nonsense
Boh Cameron Highlands University of Tea

Your pseudo-neurone aroma theory
seems to have gone a bit astray.
lf we are not more careful, Dotty,
the behaviourists will get their way.

If A times 10 plus 2qy,
then enter brackets 3QE.
Logic states that 5-foot square
must surely equal 3 BC.

No, that’s nonsense, my dear Professor.
3 times A is 8 fg.
So N2 squared to decimal 4
must be square root of G.

What rot, you cretinous, claptrap chap.
If A square third point decimal G
Then it must be quite clear to you
that 4QZ times 9 is C.

Utter balderdash, you balding fool.
Captain Lipton would agree with me.
If A square 2 plus h8p,
the multiple effect creates law of tea.

The speed of weight and the force of light
run parallel, you must agree.
So 3y squared percentage 9
must result in 8 A3.

The cardinal rule of ordinals
can substitute the primary.
When chemistry is vector 10,
then spectrum must be 4 times t.

You’re getting indigo and astro-turf
confused with sonar, you foolish fellow
Teabags from Switzerland, I thought you knew,
come in ultra orange and infra yellow.

You fossil from the Pleistocene,
4 a squared makes double B.
Remove the bracket, correct raw score,
then 3 plus 8 over10 is E.

Now listen, brontosaurus brain,
take mc2 plus mc3.
Shift decimal place to freezing point,
and change the law of gravity.

The only way to solve this problem
is wipe the board and start again.
If evaporated gram is right,
the hypotenuse must equal 10.

Bracket half and then add 2,
square invert, subtract point 3.
Triangulate the hypotenuse,
might get a section graph of tea.

Well, that seems to make the pie chart warm,
a theory of probability.
Now if the equation really works,
we should get a perfect cup of tea.

Brazil, I think should do the trick.
No, no, Columbian, I must insist.
Ah, Mr Homer, what do you think?


I think you’re completely round the twist.

The countries that you just referred to
grow mainly coffee, little tea.
But I’ll join you, as it’s half past ten,
a pint of garlic cheese for me.

Chap is, dear Dotty, round the bend,
was in the tropics far too long.
Trains his pet frog to play piano;
something must be very wrong.

Yes, I also heard he has a housebound lizard
that he tries to teach the cello.
Is it the heat or the humidity that does it?
He really is a peculiar fellow.