A play in one act
Richard Homer
© Richard Homer 2008
Cast of characters
JAKE, KEN, CHLOE, and ANNE: c mid teenage, poor social backgrounds, ready to finish school, bored by education, discipline, the whole country, and their life in general, but nice people.
The play takes place in the present time.
Opening music: ‘Cum on, feel the noize’. Chorus, half minute.
Closing music: ‘Coz I luv you’. The beginning, half minute
At rise: The four young people are in a deserted classroom; Jake is leaning back in a chair, hands behind neck, looking at the walls. Ken is by the whiteboard, writing nothing in particular, Chloe is examining her hands and nails, stroking her hair, and Anne is half reading a magazine. Music, half minute, then fade out.
JAKE: I am, I think I can tell you in truth, bored; I am bored, people; I’m bored with everything.
KEN: Yeah, Jake, I agree with you.
CHLOE: I’m looking at my fingernails, so I’m not one hundred per cent bored, at least not yet.
ANNE: I think I’m half bored, but this magazine’s got some interesting articles about pop music and fashion. It says here you can have a hair transplant. It costs about four thousand pounds. I can’t afford that.
CHLOE: Me, neither. I don’t want a hair transplant. I like my hair.
JAKE: Me too. I like my hair. What about you, Ken?
KEN: Yeah, Jake, I agree with you.
CHLOE: He always agrees with you, Jake.
JAKE: Because he likes me, and has respect, you see.
ANNE: I respect you, Jake, and I like you you’re my best pal, with Ken and Chloe of course.
JAKE: Yeah, Anne, you’re my best pal, with Ken and Chloe of course.
KEN: We’re best pals, aren’t we?
CHLOE: Yeah, that’s right, we’re inseparable. I like that.
ANNE: What’s ‘inseparable’ mean?
JAKE: It means we’re inseparable, like we can’t be separated or we become homesick, something like that.
KEN: That’s right, Jake. You got the right idea there. I like all of you guys, that’s the truth.
CHLOE: We like you, Ken, that’s the truth.
ANNE: I got no one except you people. We’re best pals, aren’t we?
JAKE: You said it, Anne, We’re best pals. We’re with each other.
KEN: Yeah, we watch out for each other, we take care of each other, and we don’t care what the other people think.
CHLOE: That’s cool, Ken, you’re funky and cool, Ken.
ANNE: Yeah, Ken, cool and funky, that’s you, Ken, and Jake and Chloe and me.
JAKE: Right. What are we going to do tonight?
KEN: I got to go home.
CHLOE: Home is boring.
ANNE: Yeah, home is boring. I agree with you. Hey, look at this. It’s Electrovamp. That’s a picture of them. I like them, they’re cool. What do you think of them?
CHLOE: Who?
KEN: They’re a group from London, I think.
JAKE: Not ‘The Who’; no, they’re from here, just down the road, like.
CHLOE: I meant who she is talking about, who Anne is talking about; I dunno what she was talking about.
ANNE: They’re two sisters from Caerphilly; they used to be called Kute, that’s K,U,T,E, not cute like a rabbit, that’s C,U,T,E. I like Kally, she’s funky. I like Tammy, too. She’s funky, too.
CHLOE: They’re good, they are. I like them both. I like their hair. Their hair’s nice; funky.
KEN: They’re pretty, they’re very pretty. I like them. Their hair’s nice, too. Chloe and Anne are pretty, too, but they don’t sing, not like that. But I like Chloe’s hair and I like Anne’s hair.
JAKE: Yeah, that’s right. But I think Anne and Chloe are funky, too. Yeah.
CHLOE: Thank you; I can’t sing; I don’t know how. I get out of tune.
ANNE: Yeah, me too. I don’t want to go home yet. Home is boring.
JAKE: If home is boring, where are we going to go? What are we going to do tonight? We can’t remain here.
KEN: No, we can’t remain around here.
CHLOE: We can go and buy fish and chips after this, go down to the fish and chip shop.
ANNE: That’s a good idea. I got a couple of pounds. We can get a piece of fish and three chips.
CHLOE: Three chips? Oh, you mean three packets of chips, is that right. Yeah, I get you.
JAKE: How can you get fish and chips now? They’re closed, it’s four thirty.
KEN: Yeah, you’re right Jake.
CHLOE: Well, we could go for a curry. I like curry, if they got chips too. I like curry that not too hot; I don’t like the stuff that burns your mouth, it’s like eating a volcano or something like that.
KEN: Chloe’s right; curry is okay when it’s not too hot. I don’t want to eat a volcano.
JAKE: Yeah, eating a volcano would be dangerous, as well as being pretty hot. I know what you mean, Chloe. The hot stuff makes your mouth burn like a gas fire on a winter’s night.
ANNE: How you going to find a curry at this time? The curry places open around eight o’ clock, I think.
JAKE: Then we got to remain here, if we can’t get fish and chips and can’t get a curry. We don’t want to go home.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. I don’t wan to go home. I hate going home; I loathe going home.
CHLOE: You loathe going home?
KEN: Yeah, I do.
ANNE: What’s ‘loathe’ mean?
JAKE: It means you hate something strong, like very hate them, or it, or anything. It’s strong language, that’s what it is, right?
KEN: Yeah, that’s right.
CHLOE: Why do you loathe going home? Is it your father?
KEN: Yeah. I hate him. He hits me when he’s pissed, that’s most of the time, but he isn’t there most of the time. I dunno where he is, I don’t care. I hate him. If he’s there tonight, I’m not going in the house.
ANNE: Poor Ken; then going home’s a no-no for Ken, isn’t it?
JAKE: A no-no for Ken?
KEN: I like that; a no-no for Ken. I want people to call me No-no Ken from now on. N, N, K, for short. Yeah, I like that.
CHLOE: You're nuts. Who wants to be called N, N, K?
KEN: Me.
ANNE: We could all have special secret name, then no one would know who we’re talking to, or taking about. I could call myself ‘Anne the Gan’. No, I don’t like that. What about ‘Anne the Ban’? No, that sounds stupid, I think.
JAKE: How about ‘Anne the Can’? That’s because you like drinking fizzy drinks and they come in a can.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right, that’s a good name for you.
CHLOE: Yeah, that’s cool.
ANNE: Okay, if everyone likes it, I’m Anne the Can.
JAKE: I’m going to call myself ‘Jake the Cake’. Anyone object?
KEN: That’s brilliant, Jake. I like it. We got Anne the Can, Jake the Cake and No-no-Ken. How about Chloe?
CHLOE: What about me?
ANNE: We got to find a rhyme with Chloe. How about Snowy, or Blowy?
JAKE: No, that doesn’t suit Chloe.
KEN: No, that doesn’t suit Chloe. Oh no, it doesn’t suit Chloe.
CHLOE: What suits me? I like fashion and my fingernails. What’s a good name for me?
ANNE: It’s tricky with Chloe. Not many things rhyme with Chloe. What about ‘Chloe the Hero’?
JAKE: That’s ‘Chloe the Heroine’.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. Chloe’s a girl, isn’t he, so she must be a heroine. A heroine is a girl hero. I read that in a book.
CHLOE: That’s right. I can’t be a hero coz I’m a girl. I’m a young woman now, though.
ANNE: That’s right; she’s a young woman now, just like me.
JAKE: That’s right; you’re both young women now; we can do as we please now.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. You can be who you want now.
CHLOE: No, we can’t. We can’t go to the pub for another year.
ANNE: Yeah, and we can’t buy booze.
JAKE: That’s no problem. We get someone to buy it for us.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. It’s no problem. What were we talking about?
JAKE: Getting a special secret name.
CHLOE: Right, so what’s my secret name now? I want a special name like you lot.
ANNE: Hang on; we’re working on it.
JAKE: Chloe Knowy.
KEN: That’s pretty cool, coz Chloe knows lots of things, and can spell better than the rest of us can.
CHLOE: I don’t know. It’s not that catchy, is it? You lot have catchy names.
ANNE: How about Yoyo Chloe?
JAKE: That’s cool, yeah.
KEN: I like it; yeah, Yoyo Chloe.
CHLOE: Okay, that’s me. I like it too. I want you to call me Yoyo Chloe from now on, okay?
ANNE: Right. We must promise not to tell anyone our secret names, okay. Hold hands, and repeat after me, ‘I promise to keep my secret name a secret and tell no one otherwise my secret name won’t be a secret if anyone knows it.’
JAKE: Right. We must promise not to tell anyone our secret names, okay. Hold hands, and repeat after me, ‘I promise to keep my secret name a secret and tell no one otherwise my secret name won’t be a secret if anyone knows it.’
KEN: Right. We must promise not to tell anyone our secret names, okay. Hold hands, and repeat after me, ‘I promise to keep my secret name a secret and tell no one otherwise my secret name won’t be a secret if anyone knows it.’
CHLOE: Right. We must promise not to tell anyone our secret names, okay. Hold hands, and repeat after me, ‘I promise to keep my secret name a secret and tell no one otherwise my secret name won’t be a secret if anyone knows it.’
ANNE: Right. We must promise not to tell anyone our secret names, okay. Hold hands, and repeat after me, ‘I promise to keep my secret name a secret and tell no one otherwise my secret name won’t be a secret if anyone knows it.’ You were supposed to repeat the last bit, but I suppose it doesn’t matter.
JAKE: You were supposed to repeat the last bit but it doesn’t matter.
KEN: You were supposed to repeat the last bit but it-
CHLOE: Ken, Jake, I don’t think that’s what Anne meant. You don’t have to repeat everything.
ANNE: That’s right.
JAKE: Right, I get it.
KEN: Yeah, me too.
CHLOE: What are we going to do tonight? Where are we going to meet?
ANNE: There’s nowhere to go. We can’t get in a pub. There’s a coffee bar in town.
JAKE: Who wants to hang around a coffee bar? Only nerds and geeks hang round a coffee bar.
KEN: You’re right there. Look at the people in them. They’re old and grey, or students.
CHLOE: We’re students too.
ANNE: Yeah, but I think Ken means they’re different from us, like. They are swotty types, who talk about the general election or race or sport.
JAKE: Yeah, I can’t take those kinds of people. They’re boring.
KEN: That’s right, yeah. They’re boring and nerdy and geeky and …and… something or other.
CHLOE: Yeah, you’re right there, Ken.
ANNE: We could hang round the bus stop; that’s where we often go at the weekend. There’s no one there. It’s quiet.
JAKE: That’s because there are no buses in the evening until the next morning.
ANNE: If there was a bus, I wouldn’t use it; they’re too expensive. It’s fifty pence to get into town. I can buy a half load of chips for fifty pence.
CHLOE: That’s right. Then it’s fifty pence to get back.
JAKE: I can’t afford to get a bus two or three times a day. I’d have no money for anything.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. Nobody goes on a bus when the evening comes. There’s nowhere to go in town. Everywhere is shut except the pubs; they’re open at night. Let’s go there, to the bus stop. At least no one bothers us there. It’s cheap, too.
CHLOE: Most people don’t like to hang around a bus shelter in the evening, but we know better. It’s a good place. It’s cheap too.
ANNE: Yeah, it’s got a roof –
JAKE: It’s a bit broken.
ANNE: Yeah, but it keeps most of the rain out.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. It keeps most of the rain out, and the wind too.
CHLOE: Yeah, and we can read the timetable, if someone hasn’t torn it away.
ANNE: Yeah, let’s go there for the evening. That’ll be good fun up there. The weather’s not too bad; the rain’s not really pissing down that bad, is it?
JAKE: No, it’s okay, so long as we take a coat each.
KEN: Or an umbrella.
CHLOE: I don’t have an umbrella.
ANNE: Nor me. I don’t like using them. They blow around in the wind too much.
JAKE: I agree. I hate an umbrella. My mum’s hit me with an umbrella on a few times, on my arm. It stings like crazy, especially when the spiky bits get in you.
KEN: Your mum’s horrible. I hate her like anything. She always tells me to get lost, to bugger off. I don’t know why she hates me.
JAKE: I don’t know why she hates me, too.
CHLOE: My mum doesn’t hate me, but she doesn’t like me much. She doesn’t talk to me; she’s always on the phone to some bloke.
ANNE: How do you know it’s a bloke?
CHLOE: I can tell by the way she talks. You know it’s a bloke from the way people talk.
JAKE: You’re right. You talk to a girl a different way, like. Chloe’s right there. My dad used to talk to my mum real bad, swearing like, whacking her now and again, but he’s gone away now; I think he’s in prison, or something like that. I haven’t seen him for years now; I’m happy.
CHLOE: Yeah, you told me before. I’m not surprised, though. He had a real bad temper. I’m quite glad I don’t have a dad in some ways. At least he can’t wallop me if he don’t exist. That’s the way I look at it.
KEN: Yeah, I agree. I want my father to go away. I hate him. I don’t know where my mum is most of the time. She comes back late and she’s asleep when I go to school, so I don’t talk to her much. Most of the time when I get home, she’s not there. But I don’t care. There might be a cake on the table, and I make myself a cup of tea, so it’s okay.
CHLOE: My mum cooks some potatoes and I help myself; I might fry an egg or something. I know how to fry an egg. I like frying an egg.
ANNE: Yeah, me too. My mum tells me to help myself. I get a frozen pizza and stick it in the microwave. It’s enough if I ate fish and chips in town before I go home. My mum's out in the pub or in some crap nightclub, getting back about two in the morning. The police come quite often, people tell me. I mean, they come to the nightclub, not to the house.
JAKE: It’s a rough place, that one. I heard about it. It’s somewhere near here. I don’t know where, it’s near Market Square, one of those little roads going off the square, somewhere in there. I don’t go there often, you might get beaten up.
CHLOE: Yeah, Jake’s right about that; you can get beaten up by some bloke who half gone just for being on the pavement and you’re doing nothing.
KEN: A nightclub can be a rough place. My dad told me that; he used to get into a fight in one. He went to hospital once. That was good then. He was out of the house for about a week. It was good then. He’s away now, he’s not there. I’m happy.
CHLOE: That’s the advantage of not having a dad; you don’t get walloped, and he don’t come back pissed, to get into a fight. That’s what I think.
ANNE: But Chloe, you’ve got a dad, but you don’t know him, though. You can’t be born without a dad, can you? I get to see my dad from time to time, he's with another woman now, I don't know if they're going to marry, maybe they are, I don't know, don't care, too. He's okay with me.
CHLOE: Yeah, I mean I don’t have one now; he cleared off after I was born, or maybe before, I dunno. I don’t care. How about you, Jake, what does you mum tell you?
JAKE: My mum tells me go out and get what I want from the corner shop; I get a couple of quid and I get something cheap, like a doughnut so then I got money for some beer later on. I’m sneaky like that. I can get a pack of eight for a few quid; I know a bloke who works in the supermarket, and he gets me them through the rear, where the lorry comes to bring the new stuff, I get them there.
KEN: That’s clever, Jake. You’re bright to think of something like that. I wouldn’t be able to think like that even if I wanted to. The three of you are bright, that’s what I think.
JAKE: You’re a clever bloke too, Ken, don’t let people tell you otherwise.
ANNE: Yeah, Jake’s right, Ken.
CHLOE: You’re a good bloke, Ken.
KEN: Thanks, people, I like that. That’s why I like you three; you’re really nice to me.
JAKE: Chloe, you ever try to use the cake money to buy beer?
CHLOE: Yeah, I do that sometimes too. You can make quite a lot of money that way.
ANNE: Yeah, if you don’t eat much. Over a week you get quite a bit. It’s a good way to make money. That’s why I eat the slop they give us in school; just cram as many mashed potatoes in your gut and you’re full in next to no time.
JAKE: Yeah, the four of us do that everyday. It’s the weekend that’s the problem coz there’s no school lunch to fill us up. But I got a bit left from last night.
KEN: Yeah, it’s hard then. I don’t know what to do when the weekend is here.
CHLOE: Yeah, the problem we got is we live so far from each other, except Anne and me; we can’t meet you two that often. I hate that. I want to be with you guys all the time. You're the most important people in the whole world to me.
ANNE: I’m the same. You guys keep me going. I hate being on my own.
JAKE: Yeah, I know what you mean.
KEN: Me too. If I want to get to Jake’s place, I got to walk about twenty minutes; it’s okay in the summer, but when it’s cold I can’t be bothered. It’s not I don’t want to see you Jake, it’s just so cold. If I had a decent jacket it wouldn’t be so bad. But I hate cold weather.
JAKE: Me too; that’s why I can’t see Ken every night. You two are even worse; you’re even further away.
CHLOE: I hate being where I am; it’s so far from the town. I go back in the evenings and it’s like going to a prison. Once you’re there, you’re there. You ask Anne. There’s no escape. It’s horrible. And it’s dangerous to go out after sunset too. You might get attacked there. But at least Anne is there with me. We can see each other any time.
ANNE: I know what you mean. Our place is a no go area for the police, that’s what I heard people talking about in the local shop. I’m afraid to walk around there at night by myself. I just hang around Chloe’s house if her mum’s not there, or she comes to my place if my mum’s out.
JAKE: It’s okay for the rich people; they got cars and security, things like that. You got enough money for a taxi, you can go anywhere.
KEN: Yeah, you’re right there, Jake. You got money, you can do anything.
CHLOE: But the weekend’s different. We got no school; therefore we can hang out half the night.
ANNE: We got no school at all in our life soon; that’s good, that is. No school in the morning. I can’t wait. Then we can hang out together whenever we want to.
JAKE: You two are right. It’ll be real good fun then.
KEN: Yeah, you’re right again Jake. It’ll be good fun.
CHLOE: But when we finish school we got to find a job. We need money. Parents don’t give children money when they leave school. You’re supposed to be self-sufficient by then. We got to go out and begin to look for work.
ANNE: That’s right. We need money. Everyone needs money.
KEN: What’s ‘self-sufficient’ mean?
JAKE: It means you must have enough money to take care of yourself, not rely on your mum for money. You got to look after yourself by yourself, without anyone helping you.
KEN: Will you three help me though? I don’t know if I can look after myself. I’m not good at doing much.
CHLOE: You don’t worry Ken. We’re best mates, the four of us. We stick around with each other, and for each other.
ANNE: Yeah, that’s true
JAKE: You heard it, Ken. We’re with each other, through thick and thin.
KEN: That’s really good to hear. I love you people. I love you. You’re my best mates in this place, in the whole town, the whole of the country, in the world, anywhere.
CHLOE: We’re nice people, we are.
ANNE: Why is that?
JAKE: Yeah, why do you think we’re nice people?
KEN: Yeah, why?
CHLOE: Because we don’t do anything bad. We don’t steal things, or rob people, we don’t get into a fight, we don’t talk bad about other people, well, not real bad, we keep ourselves to ourselves, the teachers don’t bother us coz we don’t bother them.
ANNE: They ignore us.
JAKE: Yeah, but we ignore them!
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. It sort of works both ways. I don’t care.
CHLOE: Me too. We don’t use hard drugs; we don’t sell the stuff.
ANNE: How do you sell it? How do you get hold of it, the hard stuff I mean?
JAKE: I dunno. I suppose you ask around in pubs, but then the police can get you.
KEN: Yeah, they got informers who get paid for sneaking on you. Then you end up in prison.
CHLOE: Yeah, but it’s not for long, is it? You get out in a couple of years.
ANNE: I wonder what it’s like in a prison?
JAKE: You get locked in a cell half the time; you lie on your bed and smoke cigarettes, and read the newspaper,
KEN: I don’t smoke cigarettes. None of us do, do we?
CHLOE: No, you’re right, Ken. We don’t smoke cigarettes.
KEN: I don’t read the newspaper, either.
ANNE: Nor me. They’re a waste of money, I think. You get the news from people in school.
JAKE: What about news in other countries though? Where do you get that?
KEN: I dunno. Who cares about other countries? There are enough problems here. There are too many illegal people wandering around the place.
CHLOE: Yeah, you’re right there, Ken. I couldn’t care less what happens in other countries. I care about us four, and what we are going to do right here and now. The rest of the world can take a hike. I don’t bother them…it…whatever, and I don’t want it, or them, to bother me.
ANNE: Me too. That’s their business, their problem. I care about you three.
JAKE: Yeah, I think you’re right, the three of you are right. That’s their problem. We got enough of a problem trying to get a place we can hang about in without getting beaten up or the police nabbing us for illegal drinking, things like that.
KEN: You’re right, Jake.
ANNE: Then we world get thrown imprison, just for having a couple of cans of beer.
JAKE: You get free food in prison, that’s what I heard. I don’t think you pay for it.
KEN: That’s good. I think, if that’s true, the prisoners get better grub than me.
CHLOE: Yeah, I think they do. They don’t live on a doughnut or frozen pizza, and they don’t have to pay. They get everything.
ANNE: They don’t have to pay the electricity bill or the gas either. They get free bed clothes too. They don’t get a water bill. My mum keeps on complaining about the water bill. I think one of the pipes in the garden is leaking, that’s what I think.
JAKE: They get a uniform in prison, too.
KEN: They get a uniform, free? That’s cool. I wouldn’t mind a free uniform. Can they take it home when they leave prison? That would be so cool walking down High Street in the afternoon wearing a prison uniform. Everyone would look at you.
CHLOE: Yeah, the police would too, Ken, and throw you back in. They think you’d escaped or something like that.
KEN: Oh, maybe it’s not such a good thing.
ANNE: No, I don’t think you can take a uniform out of prison. I wonder what they eat.
JAKE: Better than we do, I think. They have a restaurant to go to. I haven’t gone to a restaurant in my life.
KEN What about the fish and chip shop? That’s a restaurant.
JAKE: No, I mean a proper restaurant, with proper food and waitresses in uniform, not the nose picking girls from form four working part time. I mean a place with soft lights and roast chicken and duck and lamb and all these kind of things. I’d like to go in one of those places, one day. Yeah, I would like to do that.
CHLOE: Me too. I went in a place once in some small town near Cwmbrân, I forget the name. It was really good. My mum’s boss treated us, oh a few years ago. I had ice cream with strawberries, yummy. I had ice cream with strawberries, yummy.
ANNE: Who’s your mum’s boss?
CHLOE: I dunno. It was many years ago. Maybe she’s got a new boss now. He came to the house a couple of times, but I didn’t see him after that. Maybe he had an argument with my mum, I dunno.
JAKE: Yeah, I want to go to a restaurant like you see on the box, with a chef in a white hat.
KEN: Me too. That’s would be good fun, real nice.
CHLOE: The problem is, people, you need money for that, and money is the one thing we don’t have much of. I can’t see where we can get money, either.
ANNE: You get money in the dole office. They give you money.
JAKE: That’s right, Anne, but it’s not enough to go to a restaurant. It’s to pay your bills and buy a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread and eggs and stuff like that.
KEN: It’s not much then?
JAKE: No, it’s peanuts, but better than nothing. I think my mum gets some money there.
KEN: Yeah.
CHLOE: I think my mum gets some money there too.
ANNE: We could get money if we turned to crime, you know, like becoming bank robbers, or hijacking a plane and getting a ransom.
JAKE: Yeah, we could, but we might get caught and go to prison for years and years. You don’t get a year or two if you hijack a plane.
CHLOE: How do you hijack a plane?
KEN: You go to an airport and get on the plane, pull out a gun and tell the pilot ‘take me to somewhere’, then you get money when you let everyone go. I saw it on the box.
ANNE: The films I know, the people who hijack a plane get shot, like bang, bang, and then they throw you off the plane to the ground, then take you away in an ambulance. I don’t want to do that.
JAKE: Nor me. There must be other ways of making money.
KEN: You get a job.
CHLOE: That’s true, Ken, but how many jobs are there around here. Half the population are unemployed. Most of the people we know don’t go to work.
KEN: Yeah, that’s true, Chloe.
ANNE: The jobs you get around here don’t pay good money, either. They’re called low paid jobs.
JAKE: Because they pay low wages, is that right?
ANNE: You got it. Who wants to work for nothing?
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. Who wants to work for nothing? Not me.
CHLOE: Hey, it’s getting late; it’s about five I think you want to make a move?
ANNE: Yeah, but where? At least here we’re out of the cold and the rain. It’s better than hanging round Market Square; we might get trouble there, too
JAKE: You’re right, Anne. Market Square can get quite rough when the shoppers have gone home. There are no police around, so no one can help you if you get trouble.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. The police won’t help because they’re not there.
CHLOE: Yeah, they’re arresting some harmless drunk or OAP who’s parked their car in the wrong place. I think that the police are afraid of criminals these days.
ANNE: Yeah, I think you’re right, Chloe. They get the unimportant people and charge them, the ones who can’t fight back. Get the tough ones, and the police run a mile.
JAKE: You’re supposed to ‘run a kilometre these days that’s the EU for you; everything going to be metric system.
KEN: What are the EU and the metric system?
CHLOE: The EU is the European Union; that’s a group of about twenty or thirty countries that make the laws for everyone in Europe. That’s why loads of people don’t like it. It takes away your own control over things, like they make a law in Europe and the government here has to follow it, even though they may not like it, but the people here got to follow it. It’s unfair and ridiculous, I think.
ANNE: It takes away our sovereignty.
JAKE: What does that mean?
KEN: Yeah, what’s ‘sovereignty’ mean?
CHLOE: It’s like your control over your own country. Is that right, Anne?
ANNE: Yeah, that’s what we were told in citizenship class; Mr. Preece told us, he’s okay; he’s quite interesting, better than some of the others. What’s the point of learning about how plants reproduce? Who wants to know rubbish like that?
JAKE: It’s okay if you want to work in a garden, but it’s not much use to me, same with experiments in the chemistry lab; what’s the point of seeing if ammonia stinks, or copper changes colour. It’s wasting time.
KEN: Yeah, you’re right; a waste of time. I want to learn how to write a cheque or use a credit card. I want to get one of those you can stick in the machine in the wall and get money, nice clean crisp money. I love the smell of it.
CHLOE: The EU wants to control everything we do, everything about our life, like what laws we follow, how big a cucumber must be, things like that. It’s horrible. Total control and we can’t do nothing about it?
KEN: How did we get into its mess in the first place? I mean, once upon a time there wasn’t an EU, is that right?
JAKE: You’re right, but the public voted for it years ago, but they didn’t know what they were letting themselves in for, that’s the problem, and once you’re in, you're in; tough if you don’t like it.
KEN: That’s terrible; that means we don’t have much freedom now,
CHLOE: You're right there, Ken. We don’t, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
ANNE: But if people voted to join, there must be some benefits?
JAKE: Maybe, but who knows what they are? I know you can go to many places with just one passport.
KEN: Yeah, is that right?
JAKE: I think so, that’s what I heard from someone who went to Europe for a holiday.
CHLOE: I keep hearing that the government tell us that the EU is a wonderful thing, good for this country, the people etc, but I can tell you one thing: I haven’t met one person who thinks it’s good or who likes it. Most people think it’s wasting money. It costs a fortune to be a member, you know that?
ANNE: Yeah, that’s what Mr. Preece told us; it costs millions every day or every week.
JAKE: But what do we get from it? As far as I know, we get nothing.
KEN: You’re right there, Jake. I think so, I think you’re right, but I dunno.
CHLOE: It hasn’t helped my mum or anyone she knows to get a job.
ANNE: Yeah, the same here; most people, when I hear them talking about the EU, think it’s useless, a bloody nuisance for the ordinary people of this country.
JAKE: Well, I look around the valleys here, and what do you see? There are loads of people without work, there’s litter everywhere, the place is rundown, half the shops are boarded up, the hospitals are filthy…you can go on and on.
KEN: The hospitals have got super germs, I read that. They got cockroaches in the food; they get sick after they go to hospital, too.
CHLOE: You’re right. It’s a sorry mess, that’s for sure. As Jake says, the place is rundown. Look at our situation here. The council closed the swimming pool, the recreation centre, there’s no skateboarding place for the young boys and girls, the schools are neglected, half the classrooms don’t have proper heating, the teachers couldn’t care less, and half of them leave every year.
ANNE: Yeah, I got three different mathematics teachers in one year once, and the last one told us the other two were teaching the wrong thing.
JAKE: The wrong course? How can they make a mistake like that?
KEN: They don’t get much money. I don’t want to be a teacher. People hate you, the work’s boring, there’s discipline problem with people swearing at you, sometimes you get hit, and you have to mark books at night, you got to mark examination papers, and at the end of the month you get little money. They work for peanuts. It’s crazy. I wouldn’t do it; it’s not worth it.
CHLOE: Yeah, I agree with Ken. I think they teach coz they can’t do anything else. I mean, if they were good at something, they’d do that; work in a bank, get real money, be a lawyer, they’re rich, or run a factory and get a big car. I think teaching’s for losers. That’s what I think.
ANNE: Yeah, you’re right, Chloe, that’s really well said, yeah, you got a good way with words, doesn’t she Jake?
JAKE: Yeah, it’s like poetry in motion when Chloe talks from time to time.
KEN: I think Chloe’s brilliant. I like the way you explain so clear like, it helps me a lot, you know.
CHLOE: Thanks, you two. I like both of you too. It’s nice talking to someone who appreciates you. When I open my mouth at home, my mum say ‘shut up, I’m on the phone’, or ‘keep quiet, I’m watching the box’. I don’t talk much in the house.
ANNE: It’s the same for me, especially if mum’s got a bloke round for the night. I don’t see her then. They’re upstairs most of the time. I just park my butt in front of the box and eat a packet of crisps…I eat three or four packets in one night; then I get thirsty. I got to get a couple of glasses of water, or a couple of cans of beer, if my mum got some in the house.
JAKE: Yeah? What flavour do you like, what’s your favourite? Mine’s lamb, I like them. I imagine I’m eating roast lamb with roast potatoes, that’s why I keep my eyes shut, then I can imagine it. If you open your eyes and you see the wall of the room, it’s clear you haven’t got real lamb. I pretend its lamb, but it doesn’t work every time.
ANNE: I know what you mean. I like cheese and onion, then smoky bacon. Cheese and onion are good with a beer.
KEN: I don’t like cheese and onion. My favourite is salt and vinegar. They go with a coke. I haven’t had cheese and onion with a beer. We could try that tonight.
CHLOE: I like cheese and onion too. Yeah, that’s a good suggestion from Ken. I think we each get a couple of packets of crisps, but they must contain a different flavouring in them, then we can swap them when we’re having a drink later on tonight.
ANNE: When we meet tonight at the bus shelter, we bring a couple of packets of crisps each, right?
JAKE: That’s a good idea, then we got something to nibble. That’ll be good; it helps pass the evening. I’ll get lamb and I’ll get… something else. Chloe can get another type.
CHLOE: I’ll get cheese and onion and bacon.
KEN: I’ll get something that not cheese and onion or bacon or lamb. How’s that?
ANNE: That’s good, Ken. I’ll get…what else is there? Half the time the shop doesn’t have to complete range…I could get some peanuts, or cashew nuts. We like them. Is that okay with you three?
CHLOE: Yeah, that’s okay. Ken, how about you…okay, Jake…okay with you? Right, that’s that, Anne. You’re the nutty girl tonight.
JAKE: Good girl, Nutty Anne, and Chloe is Crispy Chloe, too.
KEN: Where are we going to get some beer? They refuse to serve me coz I’m too short; they think I’m under age.
CHLOE: You are, you nutcase. They want to raise the age to twenty one, just because a few idiots can’t handle their booze. We drink, but we don’t get pissed out of our minds, we’re pretty good like that.
ANNE: Yeah, the four of us are, but I can get some from my house. My mum keeps beer and other stuff in, and if I take a few, she doesn’t notice.
JAKE: Yeah, I know one of my neighbours quite well, and he goes in and gets a pack for me, but he won’t buy the hard stuff, just beer. I promised I’d keep my mouth shut coz he said if I tell anyone, he might get into trouble, coz he’s breaking the law, and the police might be waiting by the shop.
KEN: Yeah, you got to be careful; the police are everywhere.
CHLOE: I know a woman who gets me some if I buy her a packet of cigarettes.
JAKE: You can’t buy cigarettes; you’re too young.
CHLOE: I mean I give her the money for a packet, then the money for booze, and she gets the booze for me; I get it away from the shop, in case they got one of those cameras. She’s a nice lady. She doesn’t yell at you.
ANNE: Yeah, I know her. She’s kind to the young people. I heard she was in prison once.
CHLOE: Me too.
KEN: What for? Did she butcher someone, or hijack a train?
CHLOE: dunno. She was only in there for about a month or two.
ANNE: I think she refused to pay tax.
CHLOE: Oh, yeah, that’s right. She’s a hero for that; a heroine; power to the people thing.
JAKE: I think half the people in this town have gone to prison one time or another, or at least they got into trouble with the police.
KEN: That’s right, Jake. I know loads of people who went brushing with the law.
CHLOE: It’s called social inequality. About ten percent of the population of this country own over ninety percent of the money, like housing, property, land, business, and banks, and so on. It’s immoral.
ANNE: Yeah, that's true, and people like us got nothing; it’s not fair, it isn’t.
JAKE: We want to have a revolution here; they did that in France years ago, and kicked out the king and queen. I learned about that in History class.
KEN: Why did they kick them out?
CHLOE: Because the people were fed up with the rich people who were having everything and poor having little or nothing. That was in about 1700, I think, years ago. It was 1789, that’s right.
ANNE: 1789…it’s not hard to get it, coz the numbers follow each other, the 7, then the 8, then the 9.
JAKE: That’s a good way to think of it Anne, I’ll try that myself in future.
KEN: Yeah, that’s right. The French Revolution 1789, is that right?
CHLOE: That’s it, Ken, well done, boyo. We educate each other when we hang about together here.
ANNE: They had a slogan too. The people were chanting in the street something like 'Liberty, Equality and…’ something else, I forget.
JAKE: It begins with F, but I forget.
KEN: Foreigners?
CHLOE: No, they didn’t go around talking about that.
ANNE: Frat something. Fraternity, that’s it, fraternity.
JAKE: What’s that mean? That’s the part of the hospital where women give birth, isn’t it?
KEN: That’s right; you can see the sign on the main road; the Fraternity Unit, something like that.
CHLOE: No, that’s Maternity Unit. Maternity means mother things, mother and baby things. No, fraternity is like everyone‘s your pal, you mate, kind of universal ‘I love you’ thing.
ANNE: We’re brothers and sisters thing.
JAKE: Yeah, that makes sense. But I don’t think everyone is my brother and sister. I haven’t got a brother or a sister back home.
KEN: Me neither.
CHLOE: I got an elder sister, but she left home a couple of years ago and I haven’t seen her since. She went to Newcastle in England, or somewhere near there. I think she went with some bloke who works in a chemical factory. I bet he stinks when he comes home at night. Probably got poisoned skin, stuff like that.
ANNE: Yeah, you’re right. I got a brother, but he left home too, after a blazing row with my mum, and we haven’t seen him since then, and that was four years back. I hope he’s okay, but we didn’t talk much to me. When I was in form two, he used to call me a slut, and at that time, I didn’t know what it meant.
JAKE: Why did he do that?
ANNE: I dunno. I think it was I used to mix with the boys, and wore a skirt, something like that. I don’t care if I don’t see him again. I don’t think we got the same father, I’m sure of that. My mum almost told me that. She used to talk about his father, and then my father like they were two different blokes. I don’t care. I’m not getting two different blokes with me. One is enough.
KEN: You’re right there, Anne, that’s good thinking. You can’t have two blokes coming home all the time.
CHLOE: Yeah, I agree with both of you. I know that from my place, when I see a different bloke hanging round for the evening or night. I don’t like it, and I don’t like them. Some of them are rich, you can tell from their clothes and they got a nice car parked out the front too.
ANNE: If you want to get rich, you can become a pop group. We got two boys and two girls; we could be like that group from Sweden, what’s their name?
KEN: Abba.
JAKE: Yeah, well done Ken, that’s right Abba. They made a fortune.
KEN: You think we could be like Abba? That would be brilliant. We’d get loads of money, get nice clothes, get a big car.
ANNE: But we don’t know how to sing, and we can’t play an instrument. So how we’re going to make a group?
CHLOE: Yeah, Anne’s got a good point there. We can’t sing, and we can’t play anything.
KEN: We can play the fool; we’re good at that!
JAKE: That’s right, Ken’s right. We know how to play the fool!
ANNE: Ken, you’re real funny at times, you know.
CHLOE: That’s funny, Ken, that’s funny, isn’t it?
JAKE: Yeah.
KEN: I like making jokes that make people laugh. I don’t see many people laughing round here these days, do you?
JAKE: No, you’re right there, Ken.
ANNE: Maybe Ken can get a job with a theatre group as a comedian.
CHLOE: Then people would come to see ‘The Ho, ho, ho show with No-no Ken’.
ANNE: Chloe, you’re brilliant!
KEN: I love it, I love you, Chloe!
JAKE: You’re a genius Chloe, I mean Yoyo Chloe.
CHLOE: Thank you, Anne the Can and Jake the Cake.
Anne, Jake and Ken fall around in hysterics, Chloe is chewing gum, looking at her fingers again
CHLOE: When you bunch have finished acting like crazy monkeys that are on drugs, we can talk about tonight.
JAKE: Crazy monkeys! Ah…
KEN: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
ANNE: I feel sick; I’m a crazy druggie monkey!
CHLOE: I think you should come up to the bus shelter tonight, and then the three of you can sit on the top of it eating a banana, just like a monkey in a tree.
The three collapse again
CHLOE: There was a group called The Monkees once, four blokes, really good, they wrote some good songs too.
KEN: I ain’t heard of them.
JAKE: Me too.
ANNE: I heard the name, but I don’t know anything about them.
CHLOE: Me too. I bet they made a lot of money. What’s your favourite group, Jake?
JAKE: I dunno, I don’t have special group, I don’t listen to much music.
ANNE: Nor me. I mean, I listen to music but I don’t have special group. I like Westlife though, they’re cute.
KEN: I like them, too. My mum tells me to keep the stereo down, so I don’t listen too much. I like most things, I think. I don’t like anything that is quite loud, because my mum goes nuts, plus I don’t like noise anyway. I’m a quiet bloke. I like quiet.
JAKE: Yeah, you are, Ken. You’re a quiet bloke, and a nice bloke.
ANNE: I think we’re all quiet people. None of us is a big mouth.
CHLOE: That’s right, when we’re together, we keep it quiet.
A long reflective pause
JAKE: Hey, you see this map here, where are we?
KEN: That’s a world map. We’re too small to be on it.
ANNE: No, we should be there. Look for an island, people.
CHLOE: Yeah, we want an island near Europe.
JAKE: Up here I think.
KEN: Is this it?
ANNE: No, that’s Australia. We’re looking in the other place, up there top left, up here somewhere here….
CHLOE: There we are. That’s us there.
JAKE: We’re tiny. Most other places are bigger than us.
KEN: Why’s that?
ANNE: Because we’re…
CHLOE: Because we’re not big, that’s why. I don’t know why. It’s the way things are.
JAKE: But why do people tell us we’re important in the world if we’re so small?
KEN: That’s right, Jake. If we’re small, how come people think we’re important?
ANNE: That’s a good question, Ken, a good question. I don’t think people think we’re important, but the government likes to think that it’s important, and they always want to get involved in other people’s business, even when they don’t want you to come.
CHLOE: You’re right, Anne. That’s why we got so many problems with immigrants in this country. We bomb them to bits, then they flee and come here. Half the world seems to live here now.
JAKE: That’s right, Chloe. I think there’s going to be trouble in the future; too many people with too many different ways of life living in the same place will create problems for everyone.
KEN: I think that’s right, Jake, although not here, at least for now.
ANNE: That’s because most foreigners don’t come to this part of the country, but if you look at parts of England, there’s trouble there already; people are fighting, you can’t walk in some parts of the cities, the towns, and it’ll get worse, that’s for sure, don’t you think?
CHLOE: Yeah, Anne, you’re right, girl, there’ll be worse to come. But that’s their problem.
JAKE: Yeah, that’s their problem, although I feel sorry for a lot of the people who have to put up with it.
KEN: Yeah, I agree with you both, I mean with the three of you. It’s going to get worse.
ANNE: I read in one of the newspaper that there was a minister in the government, some woman, who said she wouldn’t go out at night because it wasn’t safe; but she expects the rest of the population to go out and put up with the trouble and the danger and all that; typical bloody politician, one rule for us, one for them.
CHLOE: They’re rich too. Let them come here and try walking around at night; they’d be on the first train to London. They make me sick.
JAKE: Yeah, you’re right, both of you. You get told that the country’s safe, but everyday you hear about someone getting killed, or raped, or beaten up or mugged. It’s a bloody awful place, but I think they don’t tell you the truth, not the whole truth. I think loads of people are migrating; I read about people who go to France or somewhere just to get away.
KEN: I don’t blame them. It’s a pity we’re too young to go at the moment. Maybe when we’re older, we could get a plane and disappear from here.
ANNE: That, I like the sound of, Ken. The four of us going somewhere, must be warm and peaceful, no fighting, and plenty of things to do in the evening.
CHLOE: Hear, hear.
KEN: What, you want to remain here?
CHLOE: No, I said; ‘Hear, hear’. It means I agree with what Anne just said about going somewhere, migrating.
JAKE: Oh, I get it. It’s like in the Parliament when they say ‘Hear, hear’, like that, is it?
CHLOE: That’s right.
KEN: I always wondered what ‘hear, hear’ meant. I thought it was like the teacher taking our names in the morning, registration like, taking the attendance.
JAKE: No, Ken, it’s not like that.
KEN: Right, I get it. I learn a lot from you three. You’re real kind to me. Not many other people are.
ANNE: We’re your best mates, Ken, don’t forget that.
CHLOE: Yeah, she’s right, Ken.
JAKE: You know that, Ken. You’re one of us. We’re with you.
KEN: Thanks, guys, I appreciate it.
ANNE: What can we do to be famous?
CHLOE: Why do you want to be famous?
ANNE: If we’re famous, we can make some money.
JAKE: Not always true, Anne. You can become famous for the wrong reason, then there’s no money.
KEN: Like what? Give me an example.
JAKE: Um, if you were to derail a train, let’s imagine you want to cause the Cwmbrân to Abergavenny train to go off the rails, you’d become famous when the police caught you, wouldn’t you? You’d get your picture in the newspaper, and the neighbours would interviewed about you, and everyone in school would know about you, and maybe the goggle box would have the story too, but… what about the money? You’re not going to make money from that. In fact, you might be worse off, if they fine you. You get a fifty pound fine for setting off the braking thing on the train.
ANNE: I see what you mean.
CHLOE: You wouldn’t just get fifty pound fine if the whole bloody train came of the tracks; that’s a couple of hundred, at least, and a couple of years in the choky too. No, that’s playing with fire.
JAKE: What if one of the passengers got hurt? You’d be in it then.
KEN: My mum would clobber me too.
JAKE: My mum would whack me with her bloody umbrella I expect.
ANNE: My mum wouldn’t notice, I don’t think.
CHLOE: Mine wouldn’t worry too much. She‘d go round boasting about it. ‘Hey, you know that train derailment near Abergavenny? That’s my girl did that, Chloe’s her name, I didn’t think she had the brains to knock a train off the track, I' m proud of her though, and there were no serious injuries, apart from a couple of amputations when they couldn’t release the trapped passengers, oh, Chloe, I said to myself, what a fighting temper you got girl, you got imagination I give you that, here’s ten quid, get yourself a couple of bottles, love.’ That’s what she’d tell everyone.
JAKE: At least you’d make her proud of you.
KEN: That’s true; you’d be famous, too.
CHLOE: I don’t want to be famous because I put people in the hospital and caused a couple of million quid’s’ damage to Arriva Trains, thank you. And I don’t want to spend ten years in a cell either, even if the food is free, and I can eat as many mashed potatoes as I like. No, thank you.
ANNE: I think Chloe’s got a good point. We’d better leave the railway network alone if we want to be famous.
CHLOE: Right.
JAKE: I agree.
KEN: Me too.
ANNE: We could become professional hit men.
CHLOE: You and I would be hit women though.
ANNE: Yeah, of course.
JAKE: But where would you get a gun?
KEN: We don’t have to use a gun; we could use poison gas, or a rope, or tie them to a concrete block and chuck it in the Usk. We’d get a lot of business these days. I seen that on films. They get paid a lot.
ANNE: Yeah, but it means having to kill someone; I don’t want to do that. What happens if they said ‘we’ll pay you a thousand quid, plus free lunch with drink, if to get rid of Mr. Preece, How could you talk to him? It would be embarrassing, at least.
CHLOE: Yeah, not nice. ‘Yeah, sorry Mr Preece; thanks for being a nice teacher, but we’ve got to dump you in the Bristol Channel in the next hour.’ No, I can’t do that.
KEN: If you dump someone in the water, who pays for the concrete? You have to pay, or the person who hires you gets the concrete for you?
ANNE: I dunno. I didn’t think about that.
CHLOE: We’ll try to find out. Who knows, it might come in useful one day, I don’t know.
JAKE: We could specialise; we just do people in England and Scotland that we don’t know.
KEN: Yeah, that’s good, Jake.
ANNE: No, I’m not into that sort of thing. I like watching it on a film, but not doing it in real life, that’s just me.
CHLOE: I agree with Anne. We have to think of something else.
JAKE: We should be thinking about making a move; I think the heating’s off, and it’s beginning to get chilly.
KEN: Yeah, you’re right, Jake. It’s beginning to get chilly.
ANNE: You got a jacket, Ken?
KEN: No, I didn’t bring one today. I can jog home, and then I can warm up. I’m not that cold at the moment.
CHLOE: Me too; I can manage a bit longer in here.
JAKE: If you lot want to carry on, I’m with you. I got nothing at home anyway. I’d rather be with you any day, that’s certain.
KEN: Yeah, me too.
ANNE: Me too. It’s better here than going home to a packet pizza and a coke.
CHLOE: I know what you mean. I hate going home.
JAKE: Me too. I don’t fancy a doughnut tonight. I want to get fish and chips.
KEN: Yeah, I’m the same.
ANNE: Right, I have a plan. We wait here until the fish and chip place opens, then we go down there –
CHLOE: Hey, you know what Anne just said? She said we wait till the fish and chip place opens, didn’t she? Well, they have plaice in the fish and chip place; get it…plaice and place; P-L-A-I-C-E and P-L-A-C-E; that’s funny.
JAKE: Yeah, that’s good Chloe; you’re quick on things like that.
KEN: I like that Chloe, yeah, plaice and place. That’s good, that is, it’s funny.
ANNE: May I continue? Thank you.
CHLOE: It’s not May, it’s July!
JAKE: Oh, Chloe.
KEN: I don’t get that.
ANNE: Yes, Chloe, very amusing. Right, we go to get fish and chips, then we walk up to the bus shelter. On the way there, we get some beer and other stuff if we can, and we spend a few hours hanging around there. It’s not raining, so shouldn’t be too bad up there. We phone our mothers and let them know we’ll be back late; we’re going to a party or something, not that they care anyway, but that keeps us in the clear.
CHLOE: Yeah, they can’t tell us later that they didn’t know we were out. And we’re not lying coz we are going to a party, but it’s a party for the four of us in a bus shelter. What’s wrong with that?
JAKE: Nothing as far as I’m concerned; sounds fine with me.
KEN: Yeah, me too. Then when we go home, Jake and I can walk you some of the way back, and then we split up, Jake and I go that way, Chloe and Anne go that way. How’s that?
ANNE: That’s fine with me. Chloe, how about you?
CHLOE: Yep, that’s okay with me. We’ll have nice evening together, no hassle, get a bit high, just got to watch out for the fuzz, that’s the main problem with the bus stop.
JAKE: I got an idea; why don’t we go around the corner and into the road by the primary school; we could clamber over the fence, and hang around in the yard for a few hours. Nobody can see us; it’s quiet round there.
KEN: That’s true.
ANNE: But what happens if we get caught? That’s trespassing; we’d be in big league trouble.
CHLOE: No one’s gonna catch us in there. Who goes down there at night? There’s no pub, no nothing there, just a few houses with old people; it’s a perfect place for us to hang out in.
KEN: I like that; ‘hang out in’. That’s funny.
JAKE: Yeah, it is. Chloe’s often funny. She’s the intellectual of the group, that’s for sure.
ANNE: You’re right there, Jake.
KEN: What’s ‘intellectual’ mean?
ANNE: It’s like very brainy, you like thinking about things.
JAKE: It’s the opposite of being as thick as two short planks, know what I mean?
KEN: Yeah, I get it. Chloe’s intellectual alright. She’s brainy, not like me.
JAKE: You’re not an idiot, Ken. You mustn’t let people put you down; you’ve got good things other people don’t have, doesn’t he?
ANNE: That’s right, Ken. You’re kind and honest, and you don’t swear…very much.
CHLOE: You can draw cartoons, too; that’s being intelligent. Most people can’t draw a cartoon, they can’t draw full stop. They’re thick, not you.
JAKE: Maybe one day Ken will become a famous cartoonist or make a film like ‘Ice Age’.
CHLOE: Yeah, an animated film; you think positive, Ken, you don’t let older and bigger people put you down or push you around, you hear.
KEN: Yeah, thank you, guys. You’re my real pals. You’re what are important to me in my life here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
JAKE: We’re here when you need us, Ken.
ANNE: Yeah.
CHLOE: Jake’s right, Ken. We’re with you.
KEN: Thank you, you’re real kind to me.
CHLOE: Anyone got anything to eat? I’m a bit peckish right now.
JAKE: I think I got an apple from lunch…here, take that. I don’t want any.
KEN: I got a half Mars bar here if anyone wants it? Anne, you like it?
ANNE: Okay, I’ll have a bite; I’ll share it with you, Ken. Jake, you want some?
JAKE: No, thanks. You two go and eat. I’m okay.
CHLOE: You always tell people that, Jake. You know what I think? I think Jake pretends he’s not hungry so that we can eat; if he wants to eat, there’s not enough to go round for everyone. Is that true, Jake?
JAKE: No, of course not.
ANNE: Tell us the truth, Jake. We promised not to lie to each other.
KEN: That’s right, Jake; you got to tell the truth.
JAKE: Well, okay, maybe I’m a bit hungry, but I’m bigger than you three, and I got extra body energy; I don’t want you guys to go hungry. I can last longer than you; I got stamina, I think. I try to manage without it.
ANNE: Oh, Jake, that’s kind of you, but you must eat, isn’t that right?
CHLOE: Yeah, thanks a million, Jake, but you got to eat too.
JAKE: I’m not that hungry, honest. I’m happy when you eat; I can see you need it. You go and eat. I’m not that hungry yet. I will be later when I small those fish and chips, though. I’ll be hungry then.
KEN: That’s nice of you, Jake. That’s real kind and generous and …nice. I’ll be hungry when I get to the fish and chip place, too.
JAKE: I eat lots of potatoes for lunch, too. That fills me up, lots of carbo…things in potatoes. You don’t worry about me, I’m okay.
CHLOE: Carbohydrates, that’s what potatoes are. They give you energy, they fill your gut up, then you don’t get hungry. Potatoes do that for you.
ANNE: That’s one reason why we like you so much, Jake; you’re kind to us, you take care, make sure we’re okay.
CHLOE: You’re a good bloke, Jake.
JAKE: It’s nothing; you’re my mates. We’re a group.
KEN: What they said is true, Jake. You’re kind and nice to Chloe and Anne and me; we like you for that. We’re a group of good mates; we’re a good mate group.
ANNE: Yeah, I like that; a good mate group. That’s a good way to talk, Ken. It’s like a poem. ‘We’re a group of good mates; we’re a good mate group.’
CHLOE: Yeah, you’re right, Anne; it is like a poem. It’s Ken’s poem.
JAKE: You must think of some other things too, Ken.
KEN: Yeah, I’m going to be a poet. I’ll make up some things for you. I have to think about it. I might be a long time…like a year or two.
ANNE: You can do it in less time than that, Ken. You’ve got a good way with words; I think you can make a poem.
CHLOE: Anne’s right, Ken. Go on, give it a try. I don’t mean this minute, but in the next week or two. You can write about our good mate group.
JAKE: Yeah, you’re brilliant, Chloe.
KEN: Okay, I’ll try.
Ken goes to a table away from the others. He takes a pen and paper and begins to write.
ANNE: I wonder what Ken can write. He’s working already.
CHLOE: If we leave him in peace, maybe he can write something nice.
JAKE: Yeah, he’s a good bloke. You can see him concentrating now, can’t you?
ANNE: Yeah, his dad’s a real bastard, isn’t he? How can a big man like that hit a
little bloke like Ken?
CHLOE: He’s a fucking bully, that’s how, and why. I bet if you got another big guy to fight, he’s run a bloody mile.
JAKE: Yeah, he’s a typical coward, that’s what I think. He hasn’t spoken to me when I go round to Ken’s house.
ANNE: That’s because you’re much bigger than Ken. He’s frightened of you, I expect. No one wants to pick a fight with you, Jake.
CHLOE: I think Anne’s right. You’re too big for most of them. They won’t take you on. Why don’t the three of us go home with Ken one day and see what happens. We let Ken go in the house first, and then go in a couple of minutes after that.
JAKE: Then we would be able to see for sure what was going on. That’s a good plan, Chloe.
ANNE: Yeah, Chloe’s right and you’re right too, Jake. We must find out what is going on, but not tonight. Ken’s father isn’t there at the moment.
CHLOE: That’s good to hear; he’s buggered off somewhere, meaning Ken can get a few day of peace and quiet. I’ll be glad when he’s able to leave home for good, get a place to rent.
JAKE: Me, too. That’s just a couple of years from now. Then Ken can be free and do what he wants to do without fear or worry.
ANNE: But we’ll take care of him, that’s the important thing.
CHLOE: You’re right, Anne. Each one takes care of the other one; that should be our motto.
ANNE: That’s a pretty cool motto, but it’s true. I think it will always be true.
CHLOE: You got it, Anne. Isn’t that right, Jake, we take care of each other, isn’t that right?
JAKE: Yeah, you two are like sisters to me. I love you both.
ANNE: I love you too, Jake.
CHLOE: Me too, Jake.
JAKE: We’re special, I think, because we’re so close, not like others who pretend they care about each other, but then go backstabbing and talking behind their back etc.
ANNE: Here’s the hero Ken, no-no Ken. What did you write? Did you write anything? Can we hear it?
CHLOE: Come on, Ken. I want to hear it.
KEN: Right, hear this, my new poem; well, it’s my first poem. Here we go:
My name is Ken,
they call me no-no Ken
coz I got nowhere to go.
When I go home, I walk there without being happy;
my dad, in the right mood, might beat me up
if he don’t like the look of me, or I drop grub on the table
or if I cry in fear when I spill milk from my cup.
I know my mate Chloe likes me,
I know my mate Anne likes me too,
then there’s my mate Jake,
they help me get through.
Jake is like the boss of our group,
he keeps us together, makes sure we’re alright,
when we finish school, and the evening comes by,
we go for fish and chips on a Friday night.
My name is Ken,
they call me no-no Ken
coz I got nowhere to go.
ANNE: Oh, Ken, I want to cry.
CHLOE: It’s beautiful, Ken. You are brilliant. It’s very…emotional, I think.
JAKE: Ken the poet. You’re a bright boy, Ken. I like it, and I like it when you talk about me taking care of you.
ANNE: Me too, Ken. I agree with Jake. You got it up here.
CHLOE: I agree with both of them. I’m…I think…the poem is very…touching.
JAKE: Ken the poet, Ken the artist, why not change your name to Ken the Pen?
CHLOE: Brilliant, Jake.
ANNE: Yeah, Ken the Pen; I like that. A name for a poet and a cartoon bloke.
KEN: Yeah, thanks, Jake. I'm Ken the Pen, and one day I'm going to make a cartoon film with the three of you in the film, too.
CHLOE: Go for it, Ken.
JAKE: Yeah, you go for it, boyo. You got to write a poem with Ken the Pen now, boyo.
KEN: Yeah!
ANNE: Hey, what’s the time now? It’s about five thirty, it must be.
KEN: Yeah, it must be about that.
ANNE: It’s five forty, people. We better get going. The caretaker will be along and he might kick us out, or report us to the principal. I don’t want to get into trouble with the principal; he might call our parents…I mean my mum.
CHLOE You’re right. We had better make a move. I want to go to get fish and chips in the town. I’m getting hungry now.
JAKE: Me too, Chloe. I think we better get our skates on, people, in case the caretaker pops in. Hang on, let me check.
Jake exit
KEN: Where’s Jake going?
ANNE: He’s checking on the whereabouts of the caretaker, just in case he’s near here. It should take him a minute or two. Maybe the caretaker won’t be in tonight, as it’s Friday. That might be the case on a Friday, that he doesn’t work.
CHLOE: Yeah, you might be right, Anne. I don’t think I seen him around on a Friday, I can’t think of when I saw him on a Friday.
KEN: Maybe the caretaker’s gone to get fish and chips too. We might see him in the fish and chip bar. I think he must like fish and chips; most people do after a day at work. I know I like fish and chips, we like fish and chips. Maybe the caretaker likes fish and chips too. Mind you, it’s quite early for a man to get fish and chips, they get fish and chips about eight o’clock, don’t they? Is that right, Anne?
ANNE: Yeah, I think so; you don’t see many adults in the fish and chip place after school. They come in later on. I know a girl who works in another place and she told me that, that the adults eat fish and chips at a different time to the children I don’t care though. I eat fish and chips when I want to, if I can get the money.
CHLOE: That’s the problem; if I can get the money. It’s always money, money, money. Why have some people got millions when other people got zilch? It makes me sick, I want to throw up when I think of the inequalities here. The rich got everything; the poor got bugger any thing. The rich don’t have to go out on a cold night in winter just to get fish and chips, watching the pence in their purses, oh no, they got a maid or something to do it for them, they eat the quality food, whilst we got to wait under a fucking bus shelter with a leaking roof just for something to do, that’s what we got. They tell us go out and do something, but you need money to do that. How are we going to go to the…theatre…a concert…a nice restaurant…etc…when we got nothing? You tell me how. I don’t know. They make me want to throw up.
KEN: You’re getting angry, Chloe, and don’t cry. I don’t like it when you cry.
ANNE: Come here, sweet pea, don’t cry, love. I know you feel about these things, but there’s nothing we can do, is there? No point in getting upset. I hate the buggers as much as you, you know that. Ken and Jake are the same, too, isn’t that right, Ken?
KEN: Yeah, I hate them too. They got the money and everything, we got nothing. I wish I had enough money to go somewhere nice, and get away from my horrible dad. I hate him , and I hate people with so much money.
CHLOE: I’m sorry, I just lost it there. I’m okay now. But I still hate them, for what they done to our people and our place here. They just left us, while they taker everything. The politicians are a fucking joke; they’re lining their pockets with gold etc, every single one of them.
Jake enter
JAKE: I’m back; you can take your time, there’s no one around…what wrong with Chloe? Chloe, come here, what’s up?
KEN: I think that she got uptight about the politician and things here, they taker the money and don’t get any for the people, something like that, is that right, Chloe?
CHLOE: Yeah, Ken is right. I got uptight and began to cry. I’m okay now. I can get it why we got nothing, ewe can just about get fish and chips a few times a week, while there are the rich bastards who have millions, and they do nothing to help people. I hate them, I hate the way things are, I hate this fucking country.
ANNE: Calm down, Chloe, it’s okay. We got enough for tonight. We’ll get a few beers and have a drink and then we’ll be okay, alright?
CHLOE: Yeah, okay. Come on, Jake, and Anne, and Ken, come on, let’s get out of here and go and get some fish and chips, get some beer and then we can have the evening together. That’s the nicest thing; you three. I got you three to be with in the evening. That’s what I look forward to everyday, just to be with you three.
KEN: Thanks, Chloe. I feel the same, too. You’re a nice young woman, Anne too, and Jake a good bloke.
ANNE: You’re nice people. That’s why I like you.
CHLOE: Yeah, Anne’s right there.
JAKE: Yeah, I agree; you’re good blokes; I couldn’t have better mates than you guys, no, I couldn’t.
KEN: Yeah, I agree with the lot of you. I love you people.
ANNE: Why? Is it because we’re brilliant?
CHLOE: Or that we’re intelligent?
JAKE: Or that we’re just a good bunch of people?
KEN: I dunno; maybe because of the three of them. I just love you.
ANNE: Hold my hand, here.
CHLOE: That’s nice, Anne. You take care of Ken.
JAKE: Yeah, she does take care.
KEN: Why?
ANNE: Coz I love you.
CHLOE: Hold my hand, too, Jake, coz I love you, too.
JAKE: Right. We’re good mates; that’s what we are. We’re a good mate group. I love each of you.
KEN: Yeah, I agree. We’re a good mate group. I love you, Anne, I love you, Chloe; I love you, Jake.
CHLOE: I love my good mate group. I think you’re brilliant, too. A brilliant good mate group!
JAKE: Right on, funky good mate group. Fish and chips, here we come.
ANNE: Me too, I love my good mate group. Thank you, Ken. I love you.
They embrace in a group, lights out, music ‘Coz I luv you’, curtain.
The End
